I won’t beat around the bush, modern self-help is a lie. It does not really want to help you, it wants you stuck. This goes for both sides of the self-help industry, the hustle culture side wants you to keep hustling but preferably running in place like a hustling hamster in a wheel. The other side wants you to manifest, to daydream in the shower and visualize how your perfect life would look like. And stay there in that shower, thinking about what life could be.
But the hard truth is that both can only make money if you need more help, if you never really succeed no matter the hustle and no matter the amount of visualization.
For the hustle culture road, when you fail it is all your fault since success comes purely from your own hard work and every result is 100% fully from your own doing. Did you fail? You’re a loser, you did not hustle hard enough, but don’t worry buy this course, read this book or use this supplement to hustle harder and try again.
The manifesting, don’t chase but attract, road looks more friendly and less commercial. Your visualizations did give you the life you daydream of? No problem, buy this ebook and learn how to visualize better, or get this course to really learn the big secret of actually manifesting your dream life.
If that fails, why not join others on a manifestation retreat in a tropical resort, where you will learn everything you need and leave living your dream life. It only costs a huge sum of money, but your dream life is worth the price… right?
The subscription model of hope, and the hidden knowledge
Modern self-help is built on a subscription model of hope, as long as you keep hoping that things can really change if you just follow the guru telling you about a 3 hour morning routine for success, or invest in the next tier of hidden secret knowledge. The hidden secret you did not have before, that is why you failed but no more, just spend more money.
As long as you don’t succeed, but have hope you can change your life and really succeed, you are willing to invest time and more important, money.
Think of it like this, when you have a health problem you go to a doctor. You pay the doctor for advice and sometimes medicine to heal your problem. When the medicine is effective, your health problem goes away and you don’t need to pay the doctor anymore.
Which means that if modern self-help would actually help you succeed and change your life around, you will stop paying the guru’s and influencers selling you hope and secrets. So they have absolutely no interest in actually making you succeed, because if they do they will lose their income.
In the end, a monthly subscription of hope and secret knowledge results in way more profit than selling you 1 box of pills, that if taken will change your life forever.
Why it works, the dopamine trap
So far the why behind the self-help industry not actually wanting you to succeed, but there is another part. Why does this strategy even work, why does the endless running around in circles make you feel so good even if nothing really changes?
The answer to this is found in how your brain works, mind you I’m not a scientist or doctor myself, but in short it works like this:
Consuming content about getting rich, visualizing your dream life in the shower, learning about the next tier of the secret of success, making a vision board or multi year plans, all these activities release the same dopamine boost inside your brain as what doing the actual work would.
(I think in some phases of changing your life these activities might even release more dopamine, compared to doing the same work and eating the same healthy meal again, and again.)
Dopamine is the hormone that makes us humans feel good, it makes us feel happy and productive. So when you sit down to visualize how your dream life would be for 30 minutes every morning, you will end up feeling good about it. Yes another 30 minutes invested in really changing your life around for the better, and another shot of dopamine.
Even though nothing changed…
You did not take any action, so nothing changed, so you will fail… which means you have to learn more, dive deeper into the real secrets, try harder, hustle harder, visualize stronger not just imagine what it would look like.
The third road, the solution found in Taiwanese temples
And if you have been stuck in this loop, that is not a personal failure. You were handed a broken map and told it was your fault for not finding the destination.
I used to be stuck in that endless loop too. I have tried it all, the long morning rituals, the visualizing on how amazing my life would be after reaching all my goals. I worked through the night, fuelled by coffee and the drive to hustle myself to success, I have pushed repeatedly against doors that were closed fully believing that I was the problem because I did not push hard enough.
Until it all broke me down, nothing of this changed anything in my life other than making me feel exhausted and lost. If I did everything right, then why did nothing change?
Before this I had already started visiting temples in Taiwan, regularly praying at Cixuan temple whenever I was in Taipei, but this time I visited a temple feeling desperate. Kneeling down in front of the altar with tears rolling down my face, confessing to the Gods that I was lost, that I did not know how to move forward anymore, asking for guidance on how to move forward.
Of course nothing changed right away, but after this I started looking at what I had been doing in life and diving deeper into the ancient wisdom of Taoism, Buddhism and Confucianism. Without drama, what I found shocked me and made me realize there is a third road. A road built on ancient teachings, but without subscription fee, expensive courses or tropical retreats.
With Caishen, the God of Wealth, being the most famous and money being the driving force behind most desire for change, that is what I will focus on to explain the third road found in Taiwanese temples and Taiwanese religion.
Finding the third road existed of two parts, the first part is based on actually taking meaningful action and breaking out of the dopamine trap.
When I took a step back after that temple visit and really looked at what I had been doing in life, I was shocked to find that the time spent visualizing, writing affirmations, reading books, watching videos, learning more, and the time spent trying the same work tactic over and over, only for it to fail.
Was essentially time wasted, I was so busy daydreaming and learning more that I did not spend that time taking meaningful action. Instead of reading another book about how to get successfull or make more money, I should have put into action what I already knew. Only to learn more when I’d run into knowledge gaps.
The second part is learning what the Gods actually expect from you, in order to earn their blessing.
When you look into the story of Caishen, God of Wealth, and how to pray to him. Then you will quickly learn that you cannot directly ask him to make you rich, but you can ask him to send you plenty of customers if you’re a business owner. After which you have to take the right action, serve your customers and make them happy. So they will come back, spread the name of your business and make you rich.
Doing the hard honest work is how you will earn the blessing of the God of Wealth, not by praying to get rich and then waiting for it to fall into your lap.
It also made me realise that high agency is good, but that most of the hustle culture is too high agency. You do not have 100% control over everything in life, sometimes things fail because of external circumstances but that does not mean you did not work hard enough.
The third road in practice when visiting a temple
Okay enough theory, time to put this all into action. Depending on what road of modern self-help you were following before, there is two solutions to do it better, supported by the wisdom of Taiwanese religion.
If hustle culture was your road, then it’s time to ground yourself in the reality that not everything is always within your control. Sometimes you need a bit of luck, or the blessing of one of the deities. Still sticking to the example of Caishen, bring a sweet offering to his altar, acknowledge that success is never fully within your control and ask for him to guide you along the path and send you what you need to make more money.
If passive manifestation and visualizing was your road, then it is time to get out the moon blocks and ask the Gods directly if what you’re doing will get you to your goal. Following the steps of the moon blocks ritual (a way to ask direct yes/no questions to a deity), ask Caishen if your current routine will make you rich, or reach your specific goal in case you have one.
If the answer from the moon blocks is no, it is time to change your routine and take more or at least different action in order to reach your goals. There is no wishing and visualizing a rich life that can beat a direct answer from the God of Wealth.
After this, thank Caishen for his advice, promise him you will take action following his guidance, and leave the temple being ready to take action and keep your word on that promise. (This is also why most people only pray to Caishen a few times a year, it is more important to show him that you are doing the work to deserve his blessing.)
Are you ready to try the third road and build a better life or reach your goals based on ancient wisdom?
